Adam the Alien

The random thoughts of Adam J. Manley, better known as Adam the Alien. This is a secondary blog for fleeting fancies. Be sure to check out the main website at www.AdamTheAlien.com.

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Posts tagged "hilarious"

oswindreamingsouffles:

paragonpostcards:

princessjuliemwah:

iron

DID YOU JUST SEND ME A SELFIE?

GREAT WORK AMERICA

(via cassluvsyou)

Video captures bumbling burglary suspect (by reddingnews)

snowy-evan:

sigyn-loyalwifeofloki:

thatguy1996:

agentbartowski:

steel-plated-hearts:

some-stars:

agentbartowski:

At my apartment, we take leftover pizza very seriously.

Nobody can figure out who’s stealing all the leftovers.

They have a system, okay, and Bruce spent a lot of time on the color-coded sorting method, and you don’t take other people’s food, but someone is doing it.

So, instead of mentioning to the others, as a rational team would do, they take matters into their own hands.

Tony wants to make a complicated booby trap, but realizes just how badly Pepper will yell at him, so he just puts a complicated technological lock on the gold-tinted tupperware designated as his.

Steve leaves a strongly worded note on the blue-tinted tupperware, with very detailed and specific threats. Pepper sees the note when getting milk for her coffee, and immediately decides to pretend she didn’t so she’s not liable if the threats are carried out.

Natasha’s leftovers just vanish from the fridge, and nobody can figure out where she hid them.

Clint mostly just sits in front of the fridge, glaring at anyone who dares to come near it.

Bruce just leaves a sticky note: “Taking my food will make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

Thor balances Mjolnir on top of his food.

Loki rigs his to explode if anyone besides him touches it.

Come the next morning, it’s all gone. Every last scrap. Natasha’s is gone from wherever she hid it as well, if her stormy expression is anything to go by.

Breakfast is awkward, to say the least. 

“Okay, look,” Steve finally says. “Just whoever ate the food, fess up and we can move on.”

Nobody says anything.

*   *   *   

“I put a camera up last night,” Tony says, dressing gown flowing behind him like a cape as he storms dramatically into the kitchen a few mornings later. “Now, we’ll finally know.”

They crowd around the kitchen counter, staring intently at the monitor. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Tony mutters, fast forwarding the tape. “Nothing, more nothing—hang on—”

“Is that Coulson?” Natasha asks, incredulous. 

“Goddamn, it is,” Steve says, shocked. “I think he’s sleepwalking.”

They sit there in silence for a few minutes, watching Phil blatanly disregard their signs and disable their traps. 

Finally, Bruce breaks the silence. “Was I the only one that didn’t know Phil lived here?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“Nay.”

“I had no idea.”

“Not a clue.”

“I was not aware.”

“Pepper!” Tony shouts. “Did you know Coulson lived here?”

“He moved in three weeks ago,” Pepper says as she enters the kitchen. “For superheroes, you’re all fairly unobservant.”

there’s fanfiction on my post

i feel as if though i can cross this off my metaphorical bucket list

… How did Phil remove Mjolnir from on top of the food?

Phil is worthy to have the power of Thor, obviously.

Why is that even a question?

(via tramtheram)

fuckandyes:

thelonelyscarecrow:

rangerthefuckup:

Well that was amazing.

Has anyone seen my shit because I completely lost it.

(via samwise-gardner)

claryeverlark:

takaska:

okaysional:

jeremyyrennerr:

can we please get this to an insane number of notes so absolute funniest posts has to post it plEASE

VIVA LA TUMBLREVOLUTION

This is exactly how I feel.

hahahahahaha THIS IS WHY I LOVE TUMBLR

Ahahahahaha! I love this!

(via jacksconfusedarousal)

mattyaye:

imabrickshithouse:

theblackhood:

jetrocketskates:

someone explain to me what is even going on

two gameboys trading pokemons over linkcable.

Is there an award for best gif because I’d like to nominate this one.

shame on tumblr user jetrocketskates

(via thestraightwhisperer)

twelfth-prince:

polskagiest:

mangalho:

beinggayisokay:

I’m going to die.

A++++

LITERALLY HOW TO MAKE GAY MARRIAGE LEGAL

did the priest’s head just explode.

No take backs!

(via takohai)

legitimusmaximus:

What a trooper…

love3plus1mj:

nyobearr:

maggie-i-am:

katnss:

moriartays:

imsnappingsnaps:

it-was-aliens:

chevy—winchester:

allaboutslimchances:

davidtenthofaninch:

cyruspotnoodle:

thefunniestpost:

oh my god

“your child may become robotic and obsessed with gay porn”

Absolutely best thing I’ve read in a long time.

oh my god I’M DYING

YOUNG WOMEN FIND THEMSELVES DRAWN TO IMAGES OF MEN ENGAGING IN PREMARITAL KISSING

HOW-TO GUIDES FOR GAY SEX MANEUVERS

This is real. It’s a real article and it’s the best thing I’ve ever read.

Look through your child’s internet history. If you see any tumblr pages, immediately consult your pastor or a reliable Christian psychiatrist. Pray.”

“Tumblr is headed by groups of New York gays and nerds, and the head honchos seem to really like cats. You can’t have a moral website with cats, that’s an inherent contradiction. However, cats are extremely persuasive and have turned many people to the dark side. Cats also have a tendency to be evil, which we can see in cases such as Catwoman, in which the feline is extremely destructive and causes a great deal of harm to everyone. Many immoral liberals use cats to their advantage because they have hypnotic eyes and are small in frame. This is what captures so many youth.” This is one of the greatest things I have ever read.

This author seems to have quite a deep knowledge of tumblr. Questionableeee~! Nonetheless, this article is GOLDEN!

Did anyone else notice the countdown to the end of Black History Month?

I mean what is that even about?

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

(via doctorwatsonandmisterholmes)